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How women cum on campus

health lifestyle

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Tulane University

culture

How women cum on campus

A study of Tulane women and their preferred masturbation techniques

Margot Corper

4.11.17

Hey Tulane, let’s MAKE GIRLS CUM AGAIN. Straightforward in its message, this slogan was coined by one of Tulane’s top sexual health activists, Margot Palandjian. A fine young lady, Palandjian has done great things for the reproductive rights community, including petitioning Tulane to invest in adjustable shower heads for the pleasure of its female students.

There should be no impeding the gentler sex’s right to orgasm. However, the road to sweet release can at times be treacherous, or to no avail.

In an effort to cultivate climax, I took a poll of Tulane women’s preferred masturbation tools. From a flick of the fingers, a dildo, or a vibrator the poll offered an array of pleasure gadgets and gizmos. Continue reading for your peer’s beloved techniques.

Small, sleek, and subtle, The Iconic Bullet was heralded a favorite. Its size deems it a suitable travel companion if feeling lonely in the bathroom at 32,000 feet. One of its proponents, a Tulane Sophomore, even admitted to stealing her roommate’s calculator’s batteries when her personal Bullet’s were running low.

Next, we have The Rumble Seat. Although domineering in its cost and cushioning, The Rumble Seat has been reported to cause an almost instantaneous orgasm. For those who crave the buildup in addition to the peak I would steer clear of this expeditious creature.

What would an article about the muliebris thrill be without a mention of The Rabbit? This frisky critter is an amazing replacement for teens who have outgrown their Beta Fish phase.

Lets not forget the fingers. An old friend, always faithful, is a fan favorite. The phalanges especially cum in hand when the acoustics of Irby’s paper thin walls can’t muffle the vibrations of mechanized devices.

Just a reminder to all of the inspired women frolicking back to their dorm rooms after reading this article: communication is key when living with roommates! One of my close friends, a fingering fiend, recommends groupchat use to alert those in range of her cummings and goings.


And why all this detail on toys, you may ask? Well, according to Psychology Today, only 25% of women consistently orgasm during vaginal intercourse. This means that the other 75%, if experiencing orgasm at all, are getting off via the clitoral route. So, for the Tulanian lass who is part of the majority and is dickless for the night, or day, these toys can come in handy.

One last note, for any who feel squeamish reading this article, pleaseeee just go fuck yourselves already.